By Josh White, Medium
How can you tell someone is in love with you?
The truth is, your partner doesn’t need to say they love you to convince you. True, professing love to your partner plays a peculiar role in a relationship.
But then you can tell from their behavior, attitude, and actions that your partner is deeply in love and not just trying to be nice to have sex with you or take advantage of you.
Before we consider the signs, let’s see why it is important for you to know that someone or your partner is truly in love with you:
Mutuality is the foundation of a happy, long-lasting relationship.
Why? Because it takes two to make a relationship work. If the love isn’t mutual, then the relationship is doomed to fail. If not now, later.
For two years, he did his best to delight her
Jeff is a very close friend who loved and dated a lady that didn’t give a hoot about him.
However, he went ahead hoping that she will one day reciprocate the love if he successfully delights her.
He brought all he possibly could give to the table. He gave his money. He gave his time. He bought her gifts.
He fell out on some relationships. For instance, he fell out with his sister. When he mismanaged the funds for the wine business, he was helping her sister to manage here in Nigeria.
The relationship lasted for two years.
The last time we spoke, he admitted that the relationship was a complete misinvestment of his limited resources.
A relationship is committed to failure if the love is not mutual. The reason is that it takes two to make a relationship work. If the love is not mutual, then there is little hope for the success of the relationship.
That said, here are three signs that someone is in love with you ( or you’re in love with someone):
1. They excitedly update you about their day and important aspects of their lives
In other words, they want you to be in the know in their lives. They see you as an extension of themselves. Not as a stranger.
Even when my girlfriend hasn’t given me a yes or no after I asked her out, she almost always updated me about the highlights of her day.
“Josh, I learned a new style of cooking fried rice today. I saw it on Instagram and I tried it. See, I’ll teach you how to do it when I come around tomorrow.”
“Joshua, there is something that’s bothered me for about 2 years now. I haven’t had the courage to tell anyone. Hope you will be around tomorrow? I would love to tell you about it. I would love to see your perspective on it.”
Yours may not be so black and white.
But the point is this: when your partner or someone you’re asking out excitedly and freely shares the highlight of their day or a piece of their life with you, it is a sign that they are emotionally safe with you or they feel safe in your energy.
Feeling safe in someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy. That feeling of peace and protection is really underrated. — Anonymous.
Look out for this sign: emotional safety.
- Does your partner or a prospect for a romantic relationship excitedly tell you about their day, or share some little secret about their lives with you?
This is a major sign of intimacy if these persons are introverted. If they can’t hold it when around you, chances are high they are very comfortable around you. And it is highly indicative of emotional safety: freedom that true lovers experience when they are in the company of their lovers.
2. They take your opinion and actions seriously
When someone loves you, your actions, inaction, behaviors, and attitudes around them start to mean something to them.
My girlfriend was yet to give me a yes before her last birthday, which was on the 3rd of September 2020.
On that day, I intentionally didn’t post her pictures or wish her a happy birthday until about 8 pm when I sent her my birthday wishes. I didn’t even call her phone.
Even if many people updated her on their status and wish her birthday and someone even bought a cake for her, her day felt incomplete. Why? Because I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
When I called her the next morning, she felt a lot reserved. ” Hope everything is OK?” She said yes. After some minutes of one of the driest conversations ever with her, we dropped the call.
Later that evening, her friend sent me a voice note. It was an emotional outburst! She was mad at me that night as she couldn’t hold herself any longer. She felt so sad and furious about my not wishing her a happy birthday.
I needed to apologize to her before we started talking like before and spending a nice time together on the weekends.
Even if she received a lot of wishes from friends, mine was so important to her that it ruined her day when I didn’t come through.
When someone loves you, they take your opinion, behaviors, and attitudes seriously. Your action and inaction carry a lot of significance to them.
Look out for this sign: a sense of significance
Does your partner or romantic prospect attach importance and meanings to your opinions, behaviors, and attitudes around them?
If yes, it is a sign that you’re close to their heart. That they value you in their lives. It means they are genuinely in love with you. Do you know why? It takes someone you love to hurt you. Even with the little things, you will overlook by other people.
3. They compromise for you
If someone compromises on their principles and strongly held values for your sake, then they truly deeply love you. It means you’re very dear to them.
For instance, I don’t pick phone calls once it is 10 pm. Secondly, I go to bed every night on or before 12. 00 am. For that reason, I don’t go to vigils except for crossover nights into a new year.
Because breaking my sleep cycle disrupts about two days following it. But because my girlfriend closes from her workplace sometimes by 11: 30 pm, sometimes I stay awake till 1 or 2 am with her on the phone.
But what made me compromise on my sleep cycle for her? Because I love her. I love her, so I make the compromise for her.
When someone loves you, they will treat you preferentially. They will create space for you in their lives. Which sometimes means they will need to compromise on their principles or get out of their way just for you.
Look out for this sign: preferential treatment
Does your partner treat you differently from other people in their life? Do they sometimes get out of their way to help you out with a need or a task?
If they do, it means they are sacrificial towards you. And it takes loving someone enough to make those sacrifices of love.
These are positive signs to look out for. They make for happy, long-lasting relationships.