By Mary Campbell
One of the best things in life is coming home to the person you love after a difficult day. You can share everything with them: They’ve seen you at your best and worst and know exactly how to cheer you up and make you feel better. They just get you, and everything is perfect — until it isn’t. While no relationships can escape the ups and downs of life, if there are more downs than ups, it may be time to move on. Some people can walk away from years of marriage or relationship and instantly feel relieved and unburdened. It’s like life is starting anew. For others, the end of a relationship brings on intense emotional trauma that lingers for months and even years. People react differently to relationships ending. When a relationship ends you may feel many emotions such as anger, hurt and loneliness. You may feel needy and vulnerable. Such vulnerability may lead you to jump into another relationship before you have given yourself time to heal. Although the new relationship may work out just fine, the odds are that it probably won’t. These quick fix relationships are known as rebound relationships. Here are a few reasons why you should avoid a rebound relationship.
You Need Time to Heal
You need time to heal before entering into a new relationship. Just as the body needs time to heal from a physical injury, the mind and emotions need time to heal from the injury of a breakup or divorce. Jumping into a new relationship too quickly can be like putting a bandage on a broken bone. People often enter into a new relationship because they are hurting and the new person makes them feel better. When you enter a relationship for this reason, you are not being honest with yourself and you are being unfair to the new partner.
Filling the Void
People often enter new relationships knowing that they are not over their ex-partner. They sometimes get involved with someone who has similar characteristics or is similar in appearance to their ex. This is a clear indication that they are not over their ex and are simply trying to fill the void left by the breakup. This type of relationship is likely to fail, especially if the new partner notices the similarities or if you are constantly making comparisons between your new partner and your ex. It will become apparent that the new partner is only a replacement for the old one.
Winning the Competition
Although it seems quite immature, one partner may enter a new relationship simply to beat the other one. In this case, a person may become involved with the first person who shows interest in them. They want to make their ex envious by showing them that they already have someone new. A person may also do this to make the ex jealous in the hopes that they will return to them. If it works, the new relationship may be tossed aside in favor of the previous one. This is one of the worst reasons for entering into a rebound relationship. It is the manipulation of the new partner and the ex.
People who aren’t over their ex may get involved with someone new as a distraction. They simply want to get their mind off of their ex-partner. They usually aren’t serious about the new relationship and are uncertain of what they actually want. They may just want reassurance that they are still desirable. These people usually haven’t learned from their past mistakes and will fall back into the same patterns with their new relationships, and may experience another breakup. If you’re just looking for a distraction after the dissolution of a relationship, seek a hobby instead of another relationship.
If your relationship has just ended, think twice before jumping into another one. Be fair to yourself and any potential partner. Relationships should be valued and should never be used to fill a gap, or to manipulate your ex. Give yourself time to heal mentally and emotionally. Once you are healed and ready for a new relationship, then you can enter it with a fresh perspective and a renewed commitment to give it your full attention.