Why Smothering Ruins Relationships

Have you ever been in love before? If you aren’t quite sure, the answer is that you have never been in love. If you’ve experienced being in love, you will know it isn’t quite as romantic or glorious as you think it will be before it happens to you. In truth, love can make you feel terribly insecure. You wonder if the object of your affections returns the intensity of the sentiment you feel. It’s also common to feel some jealousy when your sweetheart is not with you. For instance, you imagine them in someone else’s arms and it makes your stomach form uncomfortable knots.


Not everybody responds admirably to the feelings of jealousy and insecurity that can come to the surface when we are in love. Instead, many people end up behaving in ways that ultimately end up sabotaging their romantic relationship. One of the worst things you can do if you want your relationship to last is to smother your partner. Billions of people have ended relationships because their partner was making them feel suffocated. You may even have done this yourself in a previous relationship.

Smothering Behavior

What, then, constitutes smothering? It’s not the easiest question to answer. That’s because everybody has their own needs when it comes to personal space. Generally, though, you will suffocate your partner if you don’t allow them enough alone time. This can include things like insisting that your partner spends all of their free time with you, calling too much, or texting them several times a day. It could even include commenting on everything they post on social media.

Stay Relaxed

You can also behave in a way that many would consider too clingy during those times when you are together with your partner. Examples include sulking if they talk to a member of the opposite sex while you’re out together, wanting to know who just called them, saying you love them every five minutes, asking where they think the relationship is headed after only two dates or asking if they are OK because they haven’t said much for the past ten minutes.

Feeling Controlled

Why is being clingy and smothering your romantic partner such a bad idea? If you’ve ever had an overly-clingy partner, you will already know the answer to this question. How did you feel when that man/woman would not stop texting you or questioning your actions during times when you were not with them? When someone smothers you it makes you feel that they don’t trust you, or they wouldn’t feel the need to breathe down your neck. It can make the relationship seem like a chore if you constantly feel obliged to explain yourself. It can also cause feelings of resentment because it seems the other partner is trying to control you.

Not Very Alluring

Smothering your partner will also make you seem less sexy and mysterious in your partner’s eyes. There is a straightforward explanation of why this is so. If you are always present, either physically or digitally, you are not giving your partner the chance to miss your company and wonder what you’re doing. What’s more, if your life revolves around your romantic partner and you don’t fill it with other interests, how will you ever bring something new to the table in terms of conversation topics?

Dignified Conduct

The fact is that clingy behaviour kills your sex appeal completely. It doesn’t matter if you have model looks, a nice personality, and financial success if you don’t know how to give your partner space or conduct yourself in a dignified fashion around them. Clingy behaviour hints at a lack of self-worth. It’s highly off-putting and it can sour even the sweetest of romantic relationships.

Question Yourself

You may now be wondering how you can avoid behaving in a clingy way? One way to keep yourself in check is to question whether you’d like to be the recipient of the same behaviour you are exhibiting. If it is something that could put you off, you should probably reconsider doing it.

A Universal Feeling

A dislike of feeling smothered in relationships is universal. It’s not exclusive to any gender or sexual orientation. Therefore, the ultimate rule is simple: If you don’t like to be on the receiving end of certain behaviours, don’t inflict them on others.

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